


Solitude

by SoraMatsuda



Category: End Roll (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Consolation, Gen, Light Angst, Light Jealously, Loneliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 03:23:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13158219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoraMatsuda/pseuds/SoraMatsuda
Summary: The Informant doesn't expect this night to be any different from the other ones he has already spent all by himself. A certain blond goes against this very assumption though.





	Solitude

This night was just like any other. As always, the Informant indulged himself in the odd comfort of his couch, surrounded by all kind of books. Due to his awfully long leisure, he has already read every single one of them, which indicated to him soon enough most of these books contained information about “Happy Dream”. Not that he needed to gain even more knowledge, he was the Informant after all. There was nobody and nothing in this dream that could surpass the amount of information he was aware of.  
Nonetheless, he skimmed through the books - just like now – for the sake of doing anything. It was only individual words his eyes caught attention on as he turned page after page. Reading thoughtfully has become quite a struggle after a few days, and the blond found himself drowning in the depths of his thoughts. Afterwards, he could hardly recall what kind of thoughts he had spent the time with, but each time, a slight shiver crawled down his spine. The Informant wasn’t too surprised. This dream slowly started to warp and nothing – not even thoughts – could escape the monstrosity that had always lingered in the dark void Russell has kept himself from all this time.

The Informant’s lips curved to a grin as he conceived what process his almost-mirror image reached so far. The few times he left the house for a walk, he noticed the slow changes in the dream. Trees started to grow eyeballs, Darcover Town was nothing but a distorted mess, and the pressure about the unknown monster grew drastically. It all signaled that Russell started to feel guilty about his malicious actions. All the deaths he was blamed for started to weigh down the blond’s heart, in the end.

There were still a few days left until Russell would most likely confess all his sins, and until then, the Informant knew he had to guide and provide the blond with useful information. That was, as the Informant felt a peculiar throb in his chest area. It was surprising enough to make him flinch, however, the following weight that seemingly built up inside of him made him lean on the backrest of his couch. It wasn’t painful, for which the blond could suspect it to be an inexplicable injury, instead, it was more of a sharp feeling that choked him.  
In his position, the Informant had it easy to stare at the ceiling, and so, his thoughts dragged him away from the current situation. This time, the blond thankfully allowed himself to do so to escape the distressing pain he was in.  
A chain of thoughts acted out in his mind. It displayed every morning Russell and the Informant did talk to each other. Indeed, it was mostly the latter who lead the conversation, but he still considered it one. It made him realize once more that Russell spent the days with almost every resident already. Once the blond did so, his fate would be decided all on his own. The Informant was already aware of such, and - unadmittedly - he feared it. He wasn’t the one to worry about Russell’s inescapable fate, but slowly he couldn’t get his thoughts off how to help the blond to make it until then.

Russell wasn’t the most diligent person. It was no surprise, as the blond did already miss out on a few events. None of them were relevant for the main intention of this dream, however, they either helped him confess his sins or were just quick reminders of his unpleasant past. Usually, the Informant couldn’t care less, but he realized that with Russell’s negligence, his event could be easy to miss out as well. Aside from that, there was no other way to interact with Russell – except the mere minutes both shared for any useful information. Every resident obtained a day to show the blond what mistake he had committed, but the Informant would never happen to be in that kind of situation. All he was there for was conveying information; nothing more and nothing less.  
However, he couldn’t complain. His name already indicated what he was there for. He wasn’t Tabasa the zookeeper, Gardenia the birthday child or whatsoever – he was only the Informant. His only job was to help Russel in this dream. Since he was a part of the blond, there was no way he would get to spend a day with the boy. Even if he did, he probably wouldn’t know what to say, overwhelmed with all the information he somehow wanted to let Russell know.

The Informant shook his head in disapproval and frowned. He didn’t want his mind to jump to that kind of thought too much. Right from the beginning on, he was aware of his subsidiary role. He didn’t hope for anything better but being a most likely missed out event in the dream. And yet, it bothered him. He was a part of Russell, but the boy didn’t want to realize that and used his own self for nothing but information. Even though the Informant tried to deny it, he couldn’t stand the bland eyes of the other blond staring at him. It shouldn’t matter to him. Neither what will happen to Russell nor to himself. All of this dream was only Russell’s imagination. The boy wanted the green-eyed blond to be in this position, so the Informant hadn’t much of another choice. He just had to wait for the finale to occur and all of this would end - depending on Russell’s decision - in different outcomes.

It wasn’t that easy. When the Informant distracted himself with his thoughts, he started to realize what kind of misery he was in. He himself didn’t want it to happen this way, but Russell seemed to think differently. The dream started to warp incessantly, and the blond continued to wander around with the same expression. It all just worked as planned, and despite his mission to make it that way, the Informant was everything but happy about it. Secretly, the blond wanted to be the one to help Russell confess his sins – only he himself. He wanted to be there in the last moments of this short-lived experience. And yet, he knew that would never happen. It just wasn’t the way it was supposed to be.

Only slightly, the Informant noticed a familiar squeaking sound resonating in the back of his mind. It wouldn’t have dragged him out of his thoughts if it weren’t for the sake to not lose his reputation, so the blond blinked a few times as if he had been in a daze. His blurred eyesight went back to normal and he froze as his glance turned to the blue-eyed boy entering the house reluctantly. The slightly surprised look on Russell caught the other blond off guard, but he couldn’t portray it any further as his counterpart’s usual expression kicked in again. The Informant straightened himself and hoped that Russell took no notice of his distressed expression. He put on his amused grin as fast as possible and watched the blond slowly approach him.  


“Sorry, Russell. For today, there is no more information, but come again tomorrow.”  
However, against the Informant’s assumption, Russell continued to step towards him, obviously not paying too much attention to the indirect rejection. There was no further exchange in words until Russell placed himself right in front of the Informant, a few inches away from the other’s footwear.  
Due to the awkward situation, the Informant felt uneasy about his current position and since Russell showed no signs to sit down, he stood up. Russell continued to stare at the other blond with an undefined expression that the Informant was already used to. This time, however, it was even more of an awkward silence as usual, so the Informant decided to speak up.

“You beat that monster in the hospital just now, right? I can see that you finally feel guilty.” The Informant smiled sarcastically but was surprised to see a slight frown on Russell's face. Just as before, it was only for a brief moment, but the green-eyed boy didn't miss out on it. That odd expression changed slowly to a weak nod and Russell averted his eyes to look somewhere behind his counterpart. The Informant wondered what it was and as he noticed the blond gazed at the book he had been reading not too long ago, he chuckled.

“Don't worry, Russell. I've already got all the information you need for tomorrow,” the Informant smiled bitterly, “That's my job, after all.”  
The Informant didn't intend to let any of his bothersome thoughts surface, but this time he couldn't restrain himself. It was the thought he was upset about the most, the thought that made him feel this strange at times. Nevertheless, he decided to keep any further details for himself as it was no use for the blue-eyed boy anyway. He was only supposed to deliver useful information and not any details - the blond had to find out about them himself.

Russell looked back at the Informant and slightly bent his head to the side. He seemed to process something in his brain, wherefore, his green-eyed counterpart was about to mock him for it. However, the Informant didn’t get that far as a slight movement distracted him. With a glance downwards, he noticed Russell’s hand shaking, clearly in uncertainty. The blond wondered why that was since Russell usually acted composed to all times. He didn’t react to it, though, and decided to observe the odd situation.  
Not much later, Russell rose his hand rather hesitantly, so the Informant checked on the blond’s facial expression, but saw doubt reflected on it. He had to blink a few times to realize that this wasn't an illusion but reality. It confused him why Russell was so hesitant. There were none of these monsters reminding him of his guilt right now, and even then, doubt would be one of the least emotions the blue-eyes boy would let surface. Nevertheless, the Informant resisted of questioning it any further. The situation was out of character and his slight curiosity kept him quiet.

Even though he tried to prevent it, the Informant flinched slightly at the light weight on his shoulder. The situation got even more uncomfortable, but Russell only continued to gaze at his counterpart. The blond didn’t remove his hand, and because the green-eyed boy couldn’t tell for sure what was happening, he was quite overwhelmed by the uncommon behavior of Russell.  
Nevertheless, he awaited the situation, searching in the blue orbs of his counterpart for any kind of reaction. However, Russell continued to stare at the Informant absentmindedly while resting his hand on the one’s shoulder.  
The Informant grunted stunned as a chill crawled down his spine. With a side glance, he could hardly consider the hand’s movement a pat and the blond wasn’t sure how to react. Russell didn’t let any of his action’s intention surface, so he was left with the assumptions to take that as an odd way of consolation or joking. For now, the Informant decided to let go of his suspicious consideration and focused on the boy in front of him again. There were still no signs Russell was about to speak up any moment, so the Informant decided to break the silence. He didn’t see a reason to wait for the other one any longer.

However, he didn’t get that far as a sudden flinch coming from Russell startled both. Russell blinked a few times and pulled back his hand hasty. A frown crept into the Informant’s face as he noticed how startled and flushed the blue-eyed boy was. All at once, the situation overwhelmed both to an extent they went quiet and just scanned their surroundings. Though, Russell didn’t stay like this for long and turned back to the exit.  
The Informant felt a wave of disappointment and sadness crash upon his counterpart, wherefore, he tried to stop him. In that moment, he realized that Russell never stated his reason to visit the Informant in such a late hour. With a confused frown, the Informant called out for Russell, who continued to head out of the building. The Informant only saw the back of the boy, but he assumed he had difficulties to hide his – to the Informant unreasonable – crash of emotions.

“Where are you going? Didn’t you come here for something?” Russell slowed down his pace and passed over to a halt. Faintly, he shook his head and accompanied his response with a quiet “No”. Silence fell between the two, in which the Informant continued to stand still dumbfounded. By now, he expected Russell to show emotions more obviously – even if it was involuntary. However, the previous action was as confusing to him as to the other blond. Even though the Informant wanted to break the silence with anything - a useful phrase or just mocking retorting – his mind was all blank, but instead, the peculiar feeling of the pat on his shoulder continued to waver in his thoughts. He didn’t know how to sort it out and the reticence of Russell didn’t make matters easier for him.  
The Informant didn’t know what to make out of the situation. Russell seemed to be out of words as well, wherefore, the green-eyed boy decided to end their stay with a goodbye. He already knew each of them had to process the situation on their own. Once again, Russell interrupted him in his doing and spoke up faintly.

“I’m sorry.”  
The Informant frowned surprised and took a few steps to Russell to understand his muttering better. “For what?”  
There was a short silence Russell took to reconsider his thoughts once more. With a faint nod, he turned slightly back to the Informant. He didn’t aim to make eye contact, but instead, rested his gaze on the floor. Russell took in a deep breath and stopped fidgeting with the hand he had rested on the Informant’s shoulder not too long ago.

“For that just now and,” The blond hesitated shortly, but decided to give in to his inner urge eventually, “everything.”  
Without awaiting a reaction for any longer, Russell marched out the building in a quicker pace, leaving the Informant all stunned and confused. It took some time until the blond awakened out of his state and slowly walked back to his couch, continuously reminiscing in thoughts. With a sigh, he looked at the book that was still lying on the couch and shook his head. Even if he was the one to know everything about this dream, he was definitely not expecting that to happen.

**Author's Note:**

> This took quite some time to finish, but I'm glad to have written my first End Roll story now. I hope you enjoyed it and have a nice day~!


End file.
